[October 2014] What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him? Nothing, it just gave out a little whine.

You may now be asking yourself ‘why is he telling me an awful cracker joke?’ The answer is simple, tread on the Tesla Model S and that’s what you get.

Well no, that’s not true, you do get a whine, but it’s accompanied by the hefty saloon heaving itself at the scenery as if it’s engaged some kind of warp drive.

The model S is the first attempt by the American green giant (no sweetcorn here) at a saloon, and made its debut the other side of the pond two years ago.

This white number is the 85kw version, the most powerful, and will set you back over £96,000 (although there is the £5k government grant) when you’ve included all the kit loaded onto ours.

Outside the lines are spot on, Tesla have harnessed the extra design room created by dispensing with the internal combustion engine to create a long, but low, front end.

Behind it an arching roofline dips into…

Read more: Carwitter